The Holbrook Family

Thursday, November 5, 2009

I had

a melt down tonight. That's right, me, the mom. I haven't cried in frustration with my kids for a while, I broke down tonight right in front of them. Usually I'm writing about how cute and wonderful they are but tonight...not so much. I feel it's important to remember the hard times along with the good, so please don't judge, let me explain...

Charlie is in a wonderful preschool, actually two wonderful preschools, one of his teachers has brought to my attention how she is trying to use positive reinforcement with him and really try to acknowledge all the things he is doing well in and not focus on all the things he struggles with like not listening, shouting, yelling, dancing around, occasionally hitting (sounds wonderful huh) she only puts him in time out when he's doing physical things like this with his body. Well he's informed me that he's been in time out every day this week. Lovely.

Every day I have a little pep talk before school but it seems to go in one ear and out the other. This school is very structured and is a classroom filled with girls and two other boys, the girls he carpools with don't play with him (they are led by a ring leader and she doesn't want to play with him for some reason and of course he always tries to play with her but she won't "let" him) and he doesn't get along with one of the boys.

He's always been hard in this area, I teach primary so I see how he behaves in his class and it's a hard thing to watch for me! To know that your son is that one who is the "hard" one in class is really difficult for me. Maybe because as a kid I never understood why the "hard" one in my class wouldn't just listen to the teacher, or maybe because as a parent you want your child to respect their teachers and be a good student. I'm really struggling with what to do to help him in this area.

So the deal today was that every time he listened to his teacher the first time he could tell me and would be able to color one of his dogs on his behavior chart (we are working on listening the first time right now on his chart.) When he got home I asked him

"How was school, did you do anything nice for anybody today?" (another thing I ask him to do every day before school)

"No, but I wasn't mean to anyone."

"Well that's good, did you go to time out"

Very quietly says "Yes"

"Did you listen to your teacher the first time today"

"Well I listened the first time she told me this was my last warning before she called my mom."

What do you say to this? It's hard not to get angry, but I am really trying to not focus on his bad behavior and try to focus on the positive things he does. His teacher also tells me that he is improving and does really well with reading and writing and coloring, she really is great at focusing on the things he does well. So I talked to him about it but just couldn't believe that this was my son. I just sat there and racked my brain as to how I was suppose to handle this, I did not come up with a solution. I flat out don't know what to do.

I went upstairs to wake Kenya up from her nap (she's been waking up early thanks to daylight savings and making up for it with her naps so in hopes of breaking that cycle I didn't want her to sleep for too long today), took her to the potty, she sat down and didn't pee, her pull up was full so I assumed she probably just went and she said she didn't need to go so I picked her up she got mad at me for some 2 year old reason and started hitting me and I just started crying right there holding Kenya. I sat down and Kenya gave me some needed hugs and watched me cry for a few minutes.

I went downstairs to start dinner when Charlie says "Why is there a big puddle of water on the floor?" Oh no, that's not water that's pee! I completely lost it over this 4th accident of Kenya's today. She is the hardest girl to potty train ever! She does good for a week and then could care less again. I stood there and cried while my kids stared at me, then Kenya started crying and Charlie sweetly said "I'll clean it up for you mom." He does have some redeeming qualities. :) I have tried to be consistent for 2 months with potty training now and nothing is working. I keep saying I'm going to give up but then convince myself that any day now she is going to get it but she isn't getting it. I don't know what to do, put her back in diapers for a while or stick with it? She knows how to do it she just won't do it by herself.

So if you have any advice in any of these areas I could use it.

So there it is, the mom had a melt down today. I'm not complaining, this probably doesn't really even count as an excuse for a melt down I could have much worse things happen to me, this I know, but I am just frustrated and struggling with knowing what to do to help my kids with these problems and as a mom that is a horrible feeling, I'm suppose to know what to do aren't I? I feel like everything I try doesn't work.

It's hard being a mom sometimes.

California

I am so behind in my blogging! I have a lot of posts to do, here's a few from our trip to California we had a great time with family for Bryans wedding and met up with friends for our last couple days at Disney (which I have NO pictures from! My battery died and I didn't find the charger until the day we packed up and left :( I need some of your pictures Jen and Mark's from his iphone.) and a few days just to ourselves with our own little family right in the middle, this was the first vacation we've done by ourselves, we had a lot of fun, can't wait until we go back again.

Huntington Beach

LegoLand

We decided to try out Legoland while we were there. The kids liked it, but we thought it was mmmm...not so great. We won't be going back but again the kids had fun and the things built out of Lego's were amazing but not worth the $65!

Kenya now loves "the builder" she get's so excited to see any character, even the shrimp at Bubba Gumps, she couldn't get enough of him.

Look at her little fishy lips!

Darth Vador our of Legos.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Bryan and Stefanie's Wedding

Mark's brother Bryan got married in California a couple weeks ago. We had tickets to U2 in Vegas the following weekend so we decided to spend the week in California and stop in Vegas on our way back thanks to my sweet friend Lisa who let us stay with her and found a couple girls to watch our kids while we went to the concert, thanks again Lisa!

Anyway, the wedding was first on our list. It was a gorgeous backyard wedding and cute Charlie was the ring bearer.

Kenya and Stefanie's niece, can't remember her name...so cute though!

The ring bearer.

The newly married couple.

Trying and failing to get a good family picture.

Mark and his siblings and the new addition-Stefanie! :)

Our second attempt at a family picture, still not great.

Charlie took my camera and walked around all night taking pictures, these are a couple he got of us.

More of Charlie's work.

Look at that little stuf with his shirt unbuttoned! Had to get a shot of the little photographer.

Pumpkin Patch

Charlie had a class field trip to the Pumpkin Patch. Lot's of fun, lot's of pumpkins.

This is a picture of his class, notice 2 of these kids are not like the other...Charlie is the only boy there and Kenya is the only 2 year old there! She insisted and was cheesin it up for the camera, she wouldn't get down. Charlie loved chasing all the girls around in the corn maze, oh boy.

My little niece Greta. She is the most mature 2 year old I've ever seen.

Baby Emerson and Train Ride

We took the train out to Discover Gateway one day with Jen and her kids Sam (my Sammy as Kenya calls her) and Brooklyn. We missed the first train and ran to catch the train on the way back but it was fun and the kids loved it.

My sweet little niece Emerson Sage Poulson was born on October 5th. They called me over to their house at 1:00 am to stay with Knox, it was funny because we had them over for dinner that night and they reminded me that I was the go to person if it was a middle of the night labor and that night I got a call!

Now when you see this picture would you think "That looks like a lesbian couple with their baby?" Yeah, me neither but apparently that's what Cami was worried about, that's why we're laughing so hard in this picture. :)

Kenya loves her of course! She was so excited to hold her and sang her "I Am A Child Of God." It was so sweet. Whenever she sees a baby she has to say hi to it "Oh, hi baby" she loves them. She'll be good big sister....one day. :)

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Crystal Hot Springs

We took our one camping trip of the season a few weeks ago. We chose Crystal Hot Springs and at the last minute invited our neighbors the Johnson's to come ( I mean we were ready to get in the car when Mark mentioned it to them) we were very impressed and glad that they came up on such short notice! They were planning on camping in their backyard so they packed it up in the car instead. The kids had a great time, we did too except for the trains that were 100 yards from us and were running all night long, just about every hour 5 or 6 times through the night. It was awesome. They should post warning signs or something at the campsite!

The rugrats, Charlie, Kennadie, Brighton, and Kenya

We got a kick out of Brighton's Pippy long stocking hair. :)

We spent the next day in the hot springs, it was perfect outside to sit in a nice warm pool, the kids loved the slide that was there too.

Chelsa, Kennadie, Charlie, me.

The World Through Kids Eyes

August 2013

Leila has officially stopped saying "I wanna hold you" :( She would always say that to us and I have never corrected her but I guess she figured it out for herself because tonight she said "hold me". She's growing up too fast!

November 2011
I told Kenya tonight that I was glad Heavenly Father sent her to me. She said "Why did Heavenly Father send me to you?" I said "well we were all a family before we came to earth, in heaven." She said "Mom, how did you get up in the sky?" "I don't know." I said. "Did Santa give you a ride?" Followed with giggles by both of us.

November 2010
Today I was telling Mark about how angry I got at Kenya for coloring on the table for like the millionth time. She heard me talking about it and said "You're not a nice mom, you're like the BEAST! I'm gonna put you in da gawbage and get a new mommy!" Then later Mark asked her when he was reading her a bedtime story "Kenya, am I the King?" She said "No, you're the debil (devil)." Charlie was drawing a picture of our family for school and drew me with my mouth open he said "Look mom, you're yelling." I don't think we're leaving the right kind of impression on our kids here.

July2010
Today Kenya came up to Mark and said "Daddy I have to tell you something." She then made him bend down so she could whisper in his ear "You're the best dad in the whole wide world." He thought maybe I told her to say that but she came up with it all on her own. She then did the same thing to me. I love hearing that little whisper in my ear.

June 2010
Kenya randomly makes comments on the baby in my belly, it usually goes something like this. "I like your big belly mom" then "I like your baby Leila." Then it's followed by "I have a big belly too." Tonight that was followed by "It's hooge."

March 2010
When Kenya is demanding something I will tell her she needs to ask nicely. She then yells at me "NICELY!" Not quite what I was meaning.
If you say something like "How are you doing?" She'll say "Kenya" instead of good, or bad, or sad, or happy. Kinda cute.
She's really starting to put her sentences together and express herself a lot better. It's fun to have conversations with her.

March 2010
At dinner we were discussing how babies just drink when they're newborns and don't eat food. We asked Charlie if he knew what they drank and he said "yes, milk from your..." he paused for a few seconds and we were anticipating what was going to come out, then he said "from your belly!" What innocence.
February 2010-
Kenya has been saying some cute things lately most mornings she comes into our bed and snuggles in right in the middle of us. This morning she snuggled up next to Mark, put her hand on his cheek and said "daddy you're my sweetie girl." We had to laugh. Last night we were in the car, Mark was on the phone and Charlie was being really loud so he turned around and grabbed his leg to get him to be quiet. Charlie started crying and Kenya got really mad "don't hurt my sista! You otay Charlay?" We explained it was her brother and she said it all over again, this time with brother. She's been calling a lot of people her sister lately, she's a bit confused.
I made chocolate football cake bites for the superbowl and whenever she finishes her food she says "I want a hapball!" The first couple times I didn't know what she was saying until she ran over to them and pointed, now we know that hapball is football.

July 2009-
Charlie was asking me if his dreams would come true (I thought he was referring to bad dreams because he's been so scared of having bad dreams lately thanks to watching "Thriller") I told him they wouldn't come true and he kept asking me about it. Finally he said "Well daddy's dream came true when you were his wife!" Awww, thanks bud!

June 2009-
Yesterday Charlie randomly said to me "You know mom Jesus is sad when you're mean to me." I guess what goes around comes around. He also told me as we were reading "Little Red Cap" (the real Little Red Riding Hood story) "She shouldn't have lied to her mom" he said. I said "No she should've minded her mom and not gone off the path." He said "well sometimes I lie to you." At least he's honest, well sometimes. :)
May 2009-
Kenya loves the park. Every time we drive by one she freaks out "side, side! Mama side mease, meeease!" (slide please) she says "mease" all the time, it kills me! So cute. She also loves to say "go way!" Every time she's mad at someone or we're trying to get her to do something she doesn't want to its "go way!"

February 2009-Charlie said a prayer the other day that went like this "Grateful we could go to Disneyland, grateful for Halloween, grateful for Christmas, in the name..." That was it! Kind of funny.

December 2008-Last night when Mark was putting Charlie to bed Charlie said "Dad, I think Jaxon isn't choosing the right." Mark said "Yeah, how come? " Charlie said "Because he likes BYU and that's not choosing the right." Mark was pretty proud.

December 2008-

Charlie had a Christmas pajama party at preschool. He got a gift from his teachers. He opened it up and it was a blanket they had made for him, "Wow, a blanket!" I said. Charlie said "It's beautiful!" Then a bit later he was doing a puzzle while I was on the computer and out of nowhere he just says "Merry Christmas mom." He can be so sweet.

November 2008- With Christmas right around the corner and his birthday a couple weeks ago Charlie wants everything he sees on TV. He'll be upstairs watching TV and you'll just hear him say "How 'bout that!" And if it's a girl toy it's "How 'bout that for Kenya!" I don't know why it's "how 'bout that" but it puts a smile on my face every time he says it. It's too cute.

I love how honest Charlie is. The other day he went to the bathroom and when he came out I said "wash your hands" as he came out he got distracted for a minute and then said "Oh yeah, I got poop on my finger." And went to the bathroom. The same day he told me that while he was playing outside with his friend Brady he peed in our dirt, just randomly told me later that afternoon with a guilty look on his face. I was surprised because he hates peeing outside!

I took Charlie to Target to pick out a Halloween costume. I thought he would pick one out immediately and probably choose spider man or batman, well he wasn't really jumping on anything he saw, until he saw a transformer costume he said "I want to be a transformer!" I said "Ok do you want to be Bumble Bee?" "No, I want to be Octopus Prime!" I think it's so cute to hear him say it I haven't told him it's Optimus Prime.

One morning while we were getting ready for church Charlie in his best little sick voice says to me "Mom, (cough cough) I can't go to church, I'm sick (cough cough) see I have a cough.! Isn't he a little young to be doing that?

Last night I was kneeling down by Charlie as he said his prayers. This is what he said- "...Grateful I could go to preschool, grateful for daddy and Kenya," then he reached out and stroked my hair, "and grateful for mommy's hair." He was so happy yesterday when I came home from work and my hair was done and not in a pony tail anymore.

Charlie's Aunt Kristen asked him one day "Charlie what did you do today?" He said " I played with Samara." She said "Oh, is that your friend?" "No!" He said, " she's my husband!"

Mark sold his car and Charlie was with us as we dropped it off to the new owner. Charlie said "Dad, where is your car going?" Mark said " I sold it, it's going bye bye." Charlie said "All our of our stuff going bye bye?" I hope we're not traumatizing him! :)

Charlie has been learning about the Holy Ghost and he seems a bit confused at the concept. Today out of the blue he asked me "Mom, where is the Holy Ghost?" I tried to explain to him that he's a spirit and he can bring good feelings to you etc.. Then he said "Oh, can I touch his blanket?" (This is what a ghost is to him, somebody with a blanket over them.) So then I explained that he's not a real ghost he's a spirit and he doesn't have a body etc. Then he said "Yeah, but he almost has a body, and when I pull off it's blanket is the Holy Ghost a girl or a boy?" Let's just say he's still confused. :)

We went to Discovery Gateway today and as we were walking in there was a little person standing by the entrance. Charlie looks at me and says "Mom, that was a wittle mom." I thought that was pretty politically correct. :)

Today at church Charlie was playing with some cards on the bench during sacrament when I looked over at him he seemed to be pondering something and said to me "mom, am I going to get baptized?" I said "Yes, when you're 8 you can get baptized." "But I want to get baptized now!" (The lady sitting in front of us turns around and whispers "precious." :)) I told him again he could when he's eight. Then he said "Can daddy help me get baptized?" I guess he is learning something in primary and FHE!

Almost every morning I have a battle with Charlie on what he's going to wear. At least the mornings when I care what he wears and want him to look decent. Last night he got to pick out a movie to rent, he chose a Buzz Lightyear one (this is his latest obsession.) This morning I brought out some clothes and he saw them and said "No, not that shirt! That shirt won't make me Buzz Lightyear!" I said "Oh, what shirt will?" "Come here, I'll show you." And he took me into his room and insisted that he wear a white baseball T with green sleeves. This is the closest shirt he has that resembles Buzz Lightyear's costume. Pretty creative kid.

Charlie is in sunbeams now but we've been watching Cami's kids this weekend at her house so he went to nursery today with his cousin Luke. When we got home I asked him what he learned in nursery. He said "nothing." I said "didn't you have a lesson, you must have learned something." Very adamantly he responded "No we don't learn anything in nursery, we just have snacks!" No wonder why he loves it! :)

Cami has a piano in her house and yesterday towards the end of Charlie's nap Luke started softly touching the keys. Charlie woke up and came out of the bedroom with his hands out to the side palms facing up and said in a sweet surprised voice "I wake up and heard the piano singing." Mark and I thought it was too funny.

Those of you who have been around us probably know that Charlie hates my hair in a pony tail. I have no idea where this came from but for about a year he has been like this. It's getting better but at first he would throw a huge fit and say "Don't cutta your hair!" Then I explained to him it was a pony tail so it became "Take out your ponytail!" And he would grab my hair and try and get the elastic out. He's made progress over the past year, it went from forbidding it to throwing a fit but on occasion after I explained to him I was going to the gym or didn't have time to do my hair a few times a day I could make it through the day. Now He doesn't immediately respond to it when he sees it but at some point through out the day he'll comment on it. The other day he was going down for his nap and he said "Mom when I wake up will you take your ponytail out?" I can't believe a three year old boy could care so much about a ponytail! So much for short hair, he probably wouldn't speak to me for weeks! :)

After we sold our house we moved into my dad's. Charlie loves being around his grandpa and the other day he was sitting on the potty and I said "Charlie, do you need help?" and he said "no, I want grandpa to wipe me!" I said "no, grandpa doesn't wipe you, just mommy." So a couple days later he says to grandpa "Grandpa, are you a boy or a girl?" Grandpa said "I'm a boy." Charlie said "if you're a boy then you can wipe me!" Don't know how he decided that one but I guess he's got it all figured out!

Kenya has been sick the past day and tonight at dinner Charlie said "why isn't Kenya eating?" I said "Because she's sick." He said "Oh, does she have a snotty nose?" I said "No, she has a tummy ache." "Oh, did she eat an egg?" "No, I said ache, not egg, it means her tummy hurts." In classic Charlie response to everything "Oh." :)